There's no place like home...

Within the world of someone with dementia, they always want to go home. For most and my mother, they are home, but telling them that, most will not agree. Now I am learning for them, it may not mean a physical home. If you ask them where's home, often times they can't tell you.

For the past 2 weeks, every night I hear "I want to go home". I am suppose to redirect her with something like, "well, we will stay here tonight" and " lets see what happens tomorrow". For her, it doesn't work and depending on how tired her mind is, she would have a mental breakdown.  Trust me, it is not for the weak. I learned for my sanity, is to just go into another room and 90% of the time, it doesn't  work.

But now we're into our 3rd week and I believe the higher dose of medication is kicking in. The days are filled with a lot less sundowning affect, but one thing has changed, instead of her saying, "I want to go home", she is asking "are you taking me home". Am I happy? Somewhat, but there are still other behaviors still present and I know that it will always be, just don't know how intense and how long it will last. When I say "last", I mean in hours!

Now I know when she says "home", she is talking about a physical place. I believe it is my house, because she ask is she is staying here at my house.  My prayer now is that she goes to bed at a decent hour every night!!

This is truly a one day at a time life...

Transparent Moment:

With dementia, you have to change your way of thinking to be able to handle the changes going on in your love  ones brain. Trust me, this is the hardest thing to do, especially for me who has no patience, but I'm working on it!

Live & Learn...

Stop Flipping That Switch!...

There are those who can turn their emotions on and off just like a switch, and depends on how you view it, it can be a good thing for that person.  But in my mother's case, it's not a good thing and it sneak up on you too.

Yesterday was somewhat of a good day, all systems was mild and comfortable, that I can deal with whatever came my way, but today.....even I didn't know if I was coming or going. I wanted to leave so bad, but I knew that I couldn't do that.

Last night didn't end the best, a lot of confusion and anxiety just before going to bed, and this morning was the continuation of last night and it pretty much didn't let up. The thing is, it hit me when I wasn't ready, I just got ip from a good night sleep, so I couldn't adjust fast enough and I became frustrated and angry! Yes, I yelled at my mother and I pray she and the Lord will forgive.

They tell me it will happen, me losing it, because this disease is so unpredictable. You truly don't know what's going to happen each day. A few weeks ago, I had another day like today, but more intense (if that's possible), and she was doing things that, well let's just say, she was making things comfortable for people that she could see, and I couldn't see.  She finally ran out of stream around 2am the next morning.  By the way, my mother is 93. 

I pray the higher dose of one of her medication will calm her back down, where it is more manageable for me. This disease has no cure, but they can treat the symptoms, for as long as their minds will allow.

We must take care of our mental health. Keep stress as low as possible, refrain from worrying about every little thing, but yet exercise our minds in a good way, by keeping it active and well rested.

The mind is a terrible thing to waste...

Sleep, just want to sleep...

First off, if you find yourself caring for someone with Dementia 24/7, you can forget about sleep....at least that is how it is for me. See, I am a sleeper. I love to sleep, I love 8 to 10 hours of sleep a night. I'll be happy with 7 and a half, but living with my mom, I haven't been well rested for 8 months now.

So now, with the help of medication along with melatonin, she is getting plenty of sleep, so you would think I can too, but I can't seem to do that. I know it is because of the unknown. Early on, she would have nights where she got up in the middle of the night thinking it was morning.  Let me tell you, it was always at the times where we had somewhere to go the next morning.  

So guess what, because of that, this sound heavy sleeper, has become a light one, and I find myself checking on her whenever loud cars drive by, or the neighbors playing their music loud, and let's not mention fireworks!! The 4th of July was crazy, and scared my mother so badly, to the point she thought someone was trying to kill her!! 😢 And me, I didn't get much sleep that night either!

I thought about taking a melatonin, but I am afraid I may sleep too soundly and would miss something with her during the night. Then their are those who say, "Just take a nap when she does". Yeah right!! She has never been one to nap, so I can count on one hand how many times that has happened!!

Until I can get real help, someone(s) that are willing to give me a few hours break, I will just be sleep deprived for a long time.

Zzzzzzz...