Today, I wish I could have gotten my mother to stop overthinking all the time. I know worry and fear is the driving force, but now with dementia, it is amped up so much that there is no way of calming her down.
During sundowning she told me how she see all her things here, but doesn't know how it got here. Yes we are at home, but during sundowning, she doesn't recognizes that she is home. But she explain to me that my grandparents (my father parents) home, was home. See early on in the journey, I drove her to where she thought she lived, and she took me right to my grandparents old home. Growing up, we did spend a lot of time there and they didn't live far from us. My grandparents loved my mother and treated her as if she was their natural daughter. So I get why during these moment she believes that's home.
It's something how the mind is all over the place during sundowning. So many twist and turns, confusion, agitation and so many more. They tell me how I need to meet her where she is in the moment. That is so hard to do, because with one wrong word/action will send her into a emotional spinal! The overthinking doesn't help either. While writing this, she is upset about people at some house, not knowing when we will be over there tonight. Guess what? She has no clue who those people are. So why would you want to go somewhere to stay with people you don't know?
There is no sense of common sense when in sundowning and overthinking makes it worst. The one thing that will calm her mind is sleep. But how do you get someone to nap, when they didn't sleep well the night before? Unfortunately, she doesn't recognize when she is tired either.
Need calmness in life...
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