Transparent Moment: Christmas Day Dinner!

I was on pins and needles on Christmas, because it was the first time, I had to do all the cooking for me and mom. I normally cook the Cornish hens and she does everything else on Christmas. But now, I am the cook for her everyday and truly wish I had stuck around when I was younger while she was cooking dinner, instead of sneaking outside to ride my bike 😅

However, with the help of my sister-in-love, I was able to make the dressing for the first time. Did mother enjoyed the meal?  Well lets just say, she had seconds at dinner and another serving later in the day! 😁 It was the most food she has eaten in a long while. But what made me cry this morning, was when she told me, "you cooked all day yesterday! You did good and I'm so proud of you" 😭🥰

Best Christmas Ever! 🎄

Santa Baby...

Merry Christmas Everyone! This Christmas for the first time in life, I am cooking dinner for my mother and I. There is so much to cooking that she doesn't  remember, so I have to rely on Pinterest for recipes. Like cornbread dressing! I love my mother's dressing, but she doesn't remember all she does to make it. She was not one to measure ingredients, because she has made it some many times that she used her eyes to measure.  And now with dementia, that too has failed her and of course nothing is written down. I guess if I had my priorities straight as a teen, I would had spent more time in the kitchen with her, instead outside riding my bike all over the city. Behold, I remembered my sister-in-law learn how to make it, so i got some instructions from her.

I believe we all have a favorite dish our mothers made that we couldn't get enough of. Mine is chicken and dumplings. She would make her own dough, and of course she doesn't remember what all she used to make it. So years ago, she told me to just get a can of biscuits. I did and of course it didn't taste exactly like hers, but it was close enough. I am determine to make my own dough the next time I want to make them.

However, my dinner is almost complete, and I can't wait for mom to taste it. But she did taste the dumplings on yesterday and loved them! You have know clue how much that made me feel. To be honest, I haven't cook this much in the past 30 years. And I'm starting to enough it and my momma need to eat. I am so glad she is enjoying it. Well, you know she is, when she ask me every day, "what we eating today". 🥰

So my prayer is that she and I have a wonderful day today and I wish you and yours a.....

Merry Christmas 🎄...

I love your smile...

Sunday, a few people told me how good it was to see me smiling. That caught me off guard, because I thought I was smiling all the time. But on the flip side, I had been tired for sometime and normally I can fake it and not show whatever I was going through. Life with mom is still stressful to a point, but not as intense as it had been.

I had a conversation once with someone about flirting and how I never could and didn't know how to flirt (and I still don't). They told me all I needed to do was smile. I never tested it out, and then again I haven't met or seen anyone I would want to flirt with. The way my life is now, I have no time for another person in it, and I need God now more then I ever had.

I understand not everyone believes, but I remember how He got me through my father sickness and that was rough. Or when my son moved away. I cried like a baby for a few days, and asked God to watch over him and keep him safe. God has not let me down, He has moved mountains for my son and he is doing well.

When it comes to my mother and her Dementia, it took me a year to realized that I had not gone to God to help and guide me through this. So a few weeks ago, I brought my Bible, devotional books and ordered a new journal to write my prayers in. I now believe my time with God is why my smile is back and I feel more rested as well.

I believe smiles come from a deep place within us. A place of calm, comfort and peace. I am still struggling when my mother's sundowning moments become intense and I need to do my best to remember where my help comes from to handle it. It's hard to do, but I got to do better for my own peace of mind.

I do want all my smiles to be genuine, and I now see, building a partnership with God, is going to keep my smiles growing from deep within.

Where is your smile...