Do you wonder why certain things happen to you or someone you know? Why do some get cancer, MS, lupus, Dementia? We always say that God doesn't make mistakes. Of course I haven't found those words in the scripture, but if He isn't a man that He should lie (Numbers 23:19), then why would He make mistakes.
I do believe everything happens for a reason, and doing this time with my mother, I am coming to realize, there is something deep within her, that is coming to the surface. Dementia is a cruel disease, but I am starting to believe God has me with her for a reason, and although I am having major issues handling all of this, after today, I realize I need to pay close attention. I need to except that this really happening to my mother.
After talking with others who has walked this road with love ones, a few told me they learned more about them during their illness, then before it. She keeps wanting to go home, even though she is home, but in those moments, she doesn't recognize her home. Then there are people and children that she sees. More and more, I notice the people are workers/owners and I have no clue about the children.
Hallucinations are real! To watch someone seeing others is scary, but I realize that maybe I need to be present in those moments with her? I know we all have things in our past that we want, and maybe need to stay in our past. But those things that has cause us emotional pain/trauma, well maybe we should talk to someone to let it out, in words, to have peace in our lives.
As children, my mother would take me and my brother different places to have fun, and often times, take a few of our neighbor friends with us. To me that was normal, but maybe it meant something else to my mother. I've seen the photos of them having fun, but what was really happening behind the photos. Who knows what all they seen and experience, growing up in the 30's, 40's and 50's. Whatever it was, it did scar my mother.
Stop holding it in...
Welcome to Café Sixty! I will share with you, my inner thoughts about life during my sixties and more. I will be as transparent as I possibly can, and if you feel the way I do at times, please comment, so I know there are others like me.
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Friday, April 4, 2025
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