I love your smile...

Sunday, a few people told me how good it was to see me smiling. That caught me off guard, because I thought I was smiling all the time. But on the flip side, I had been tired for sometime and normally I can fake it and not show whatever I was going through. Life with mom is still stressful to a point, but not as intense as it had been.

I had a conversation once with someone about flirting and how I never could and didn't know how to flirt (and I still don't). They told me all I needed to do was smile. I never tested it out, and then again I haven't met or seen anyone I would want to flirt with. The way my life is now, I have no time for another person in it, and I need God now more then I ever had.

I understand not everyone believes, but I remember how He got me through my father sickness and that was rough. Or when my son moved away. I cried like a baby for a few days, and asked God to watch over him and keep him safe. God has not let me down, He has moved mountains for my son and he is doing well.

When it comes to my mother and her Dementia, it took me a year to realized that I had not gone to God to help and guide me through this. So a few weeks ago, I brought my Bible, devotional books and ordered a new journal to write my prayers in. I now believe my time with God is why my smile is back and I feel more rested as well.

I believe smiles come from a deep place within us. A place of calm, comfort and peace. I am still struggling when my mother's sundowning moments become intense and I need to do my best to remember where my help comes from to handle it. It's hard to do, but I got to do better for my own peace of mind.

I do want all my smiles to be genuine, and I now see, building a partnership with God, is going to keep my smiles growing from deep within.

Where is your smile...