66 and 1 year...

Today is my birthday and 1 year since I been back home taking care of my mom. Believe it or not, I have celebrated my birthday once in my adult life, and that was with co-workers. The craziest part is, when I was in a relationship, they would ghost me from Thanksgiving until the day after new year, or never to be heard from again. Of course the ones who had the nerve to contact me after, were in for a rude awakening.

So now, I really don't know how to feel about my day of birth. Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful that God has allowed me to see another day, but everyone would like to celebrate their birthday with family and friends. On the flip side, I'll be lucky if anyone (other the my son) remember it's my birthday.

I often wondered, did they celebrate birthdays before Christ was born?  And why do we have parties for our birthdays? I am only saying this because, I've only seen pictures of one party for me when I was around 12 years old. So apparently, it wasn't as important to them, because the celebrations stop and I never thought about until my adult years and seeing people out enjoying their birthday with family and friends.

So now, I am spending my days caring for my mother. I been living with her a year now today. Yes, I started this journey with her on my birthday. It makes me sad and come to except two things, 1) I love my mom and now my life is to care for her and keep her safe. 2) I am going to stop waiting for someone to want to do something for me on my birthday. To me it is no fun doing it yourself alone, at least that's how I feel about. I can pretty much count on one hand how many will actually remember today's my birthday, without me saying it's my birthday!

There is one thing that truly hurts, it's that my mother won't remember that today is the day, her baby girl came into her life, because of dementia.

Dementia sucks...