I have lost touch with so many over the course of my work life. Now living and take care of my mother, how is it possible I have lost even more. What's crazier is that those who knows my situation, will ask "what did you do for the holidays" or "got plans for new years eve?". I hate looking at them crazy or wanting to say what is really on my mind. But why do people assume you can just stop what your doing to have fun when your a caregiver?
It is then when you realize how insensitive people are to others situations. I don't like embarrassing myself, so I try my best not too, and I have had my moments of embarrassment, and trust me, I feel so bad afterwards. But I do try to keep up with others situations and encourage the best I can. Right now, I am finally getting my pray life back and I add others to it, when I know their situation.
So this new year's eve will be different. I normally go to a watch night service at my church, but tonight will be the first time I won't be attending. My mother is in bed around 7:30pm, and she needs to have a routine and structure. Trust me, there are those who tell me to "go out" when she's asleep. I know, that sounds like a good idea, but I know for me, that would be the time she either won't go to bed or wake-up while I am gone. I do not want to think about how that would affect her waking up and I'm not there.
Right now my fear is, people shooting off fireworks and guns while she is asleep and waking her up. I remember the 4th of July, the fireworks were right outside her window and it scared her out of her sleep so bad that she believe someone was trying to kill her. I cried that night trying to calm her down. We didn't get back to bed until 3am! Trust me, I will be praying tonight for her peace of mind and for mine too.
So I pray the coming year, will be better then this year, more calmer and healthier and I pray that you all have a safe new year, and that blessings will be plentiful throughout 2026!
Happy New Year!...
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