Out of sight, out of mind...

With Dementia, the short term memory is almost non-existent. Growing up, I would hear the phrase out of sight, out of mind and today I witness it. My sister called my mother from California and it had been a long time since they talked. At first mother didn't know who it was, even though she saw her name on the caller ID and I told her who was calling, but it just didn't register at the time. But when it did kick in, mother talked to her as if she was someone in their late teens or early twenties.

My sister just rolled with it, but it scared me, for I knew something was going to happen later, and it did.  Her mind crashed and she was back in Ohio, told me I was her sister, and started packing clothes once again. (Yeah, forgot to write about that nighmare!)

You have no clue how much I hate this disease and what it does to our love ones. I am not one to use the word "hate", but now I do and with great passion, for it is robbing me of my love, my friend, my mother. I hate that it causes her to not see me as her daughter 75% of the time!!

I need help, but until I can get it, I decided to join a support group on social media for caregivers and have learned how much I'm not alone in this journey.  One major thing I learned,  my mother says often, "I want to go home", and how they have handle those moments. Yes, it happen tonight, but a little different, for she wants to leave in the morning.  Hopefully this night sleep with cancel that thought.

I suppose, they are feeling that they are being missed, when though I am here living with mom, but in her mind, I don't know what year she is living in, in those moments.

Give me strength...