Night Moves...

I'm a sleeper and when my sleep is interrupted, I am not easy to be around..normally. But now, I have to move differently and it's not easy for me. I have to actually reprogram my thought patterns, because it is my mother who is interrupting my sleep, but it's not her fault, it's dementia's fault.

For awhile it seems every other night she was having nightmares. Most times she did not totally wake up, but was acting out what was happening in her sleep. And it would last anywhere from a couple of mintues to fifteen mintues, regardless, I would be awake for sometime after and often, sleep would not come to me for the rest of the night. Maybe that is why I am tried now!

For the pass couple of weeks, I am using a air freshener diffuser in her bedroom.  I picked up a scent called " Calm" by Febreze prior to the diffuser, and I love the scent. It was actually calming, and thought I give it a try in her room. So far she has been sleeping better, which is a good thing. I am actually starting to sleep better too, but it is going to be awhile before I am fully rested.

Sleep is important for those with Dementia and I believe it slows the progression of the disease. Funny, sleep is the one thing most do not get enough of. Like I said, I'm a sleeper and I am missing my 8 1/2 to 10 hours of sleep a night. I know, who does that! I did until Dementia came into my life. Now I am learning, she is not sleeping straight through the night, and that is a problem. Sleep is crucial for everyone, and more so for those battling Dementia.

Calgon take me away...

Do you know what time it is?...

I did not know there's a day to recognize caregivers! Every third Friday of February, but it should be everyday. 

I knew people who cared for their loved ones over the years, but I didn't realize how overwhelming it is in so many ways. I now wish I had been more supportive, because going through this with next to no support/help, is very challenging both physically and mentally.

I thank the ones who has helped when they can. Most of all, I thank God for being my strength and giving me a gentle reminder of "why" I need to do this, each time I wanted to walk away. 

To all caregivers, I pray God will strengthen you in this journey and that He will give others a compassionate heart to help. 

National Caregivers Day .

Somebody watching me...

Before Dementia came into my life, I wasn't fully living life. What does that mean? Although my mother wasn't living with me, it was like she was watching me. She sat and worried all the time when she knew I wasn't home. I know I said this before, but now that I am living with her, she watches for me to get back when I make a run to the store. When I get back she says to me, "I thought it was about time for you to get back"! Most times she doesn't remember me leaving!

But, this past month has been rough on the both of us. Since new years eve, every morning my mother does not see me when she looks at me. It was happening off and on for a long time, but somewhat regular now. A week ago, we had a doctor appointment but she became very agitated and angry because I wasn't there to take her. I had to get my brother on the phone to convince her that we need to go to this appointment and that it was me with her. We made it to the appointment, and I learned it is part of the lewy body with her vision. Now that I know, I have to learn how to deal with it...btw, half way through the appointment, she started recognizing me, and on the way home, she told me how she didn't appreciate how I sent the "fake" Nita to take her to the appointment!🤦🏾‍♀️

Crazy thing is, she watches the other person (which is me) so closely, that she tells me every word and action that happen! It's really crazy when she tells my brother too. There are too many different levels to Dementia. Way to much to learn and keep up with. Their personality is all over the place. But when they become scared, it is scary for you as well. But the flip side, she remembers all I say and do, during those off moments, because is not seeing me during those moments. So she does pay attention to me this way, although she sees me as someone else.

However, I didn't realize just how much time, I would be spending watching her. Her movements are slower now and a bit unstable, but she is still pretty independent in somethings, and want that to remain the same. I do make sure I am close by to help when needed and measure the temperature of her mental state, before I do what I need to do.

Watching her watching me...