You would not believe the level of confusion that started at 12:30 am new year's eve!! I handle it the best way I could in a calm voice, but how I wish I could find a way to silence the noise for her And it's just about that night, it alter how her brain process situations and it will be days before it changes back.
Today, almost a week later and still having issues. Granted it's not as bad, but somethings are irritating and I am still working on how I react to the state she is in. The one thing I got to remind myself, that it is the disease and not her that has her behaving and thinking the way she does.
Although she is going through major changes, I am going through them too and more. I am doing my very best to keep a level head and maintain my level of sanity! I see where so many Caregivers are going through it mentality with their love ones, and I won't lie, I was too at the very beginning of this journey. I am better, but there are moments where I could just scream and trust me, I have done that. People tell me it will happen and that's okay, but I will feel bad too. Now when I do lose it, I apologize to her later once her mind has calm down. I also ask God for forgiveness too.
That may sound crazy to some, but it's about peace of mind and besides, she's my mother and yelling at her is so disrespectful, but I can't allow this disease to make me crazy too and most of all, disrespect my mother. She needs me in so many different ways. So my prayer is that she get back to a base where it is less stressful for the both of us.
Happy New Year!...
